Fish & Chips Day
Twenty-five years ago my new boyfriend and I were busy working in entertainment production. We had crazy schedules for rehearsals and show shifts. Our paths were going in the same direction, but not often crossing to give us time to really know each other.
One evening the stars aligned and we had a few hours around dinnertime to share a meal. Hooray! But as we drove from nearby restaurant to increasingly distant restaurant, we were shocked at the long waits and lines out the door on a weeknight.
As we sat in his car outside a normally empty Applebee’s with an hour wait, we saw a couple walking past with a bunch of balloons emblazoned with Happy Valentine’s Day in shades of pink and red. Our jaws dropped as we simultaneously realized our unprecedented evening off together had coincided with the most popular night to dine out in America.
Before giving up completely on the idea of eating together before running back to our commitments, we quickly brainstormed a list of the least romantic dining options. Where would you not want to take someone you were trying to impress? We’d already seen the snake of taillights in the drive-thru for fast food, so we nixed McD’s and Taco Bell, and went straight for H. Salt Fish & Chips.
Laugh if you will, but it was a completely unhurried and intimate dining experience! My beau and I had the entire place to ourselves. We ate our fish fillets and french fries and chatted without interruption for an hour. Not a single person walked through the door. He and I laughed at everything the other person said, full of youthful optimism and fried food.
The extremely casual atmosphere allowed us to relax and be ourselves, sharing our hopes and dreams. We seemed so evenly matched – both very intent on the hard work of building our careers. And we saw our deepest passions for the things which mattered most to us mirrored in the person across the table. One of us made a tentative joke that fish and chips should be our new annual tradition, and I remember feeling a sense of warm excitement that this relationship could still be around the following year.
The boyfriend became my fiance, and later my husband. Fish and Chips on February 14th has stuck around as long as our relationship has, twenty-five years and counting. When kids came and babysitters doubled their fees for Valentine’s, it was a particularly nice treat to have an entire place to ourselves where no one would complain if the baby was crying or the toddlers ran in circles around our table. And when we’d meet single people who felt depressed near the supposed day of love, we’d invite them along for an evening completely devoid of romantic overtones.
Back then I had no way of knowing how our life would involve so many years of living abroad, moving from country to country. A common lament among my fellow expat friends is how difficult it can be to carry on or recreate traditions they cherish in their home countries. I learned quickly to hold very loosely to so many things, to try on new traditions to replace the ones we outgrew or could no longer make fit.
Yet Fish and Chips Day has hung in there for the long haul. We’ve yet to find a country that doesn’t have some version of it for us to enjoy on February 14th each year. And unlike balloons and flowers which deflate and wilt, our version of a purposely non-romantic evening to enjoy each other’s company without a crowd has been part of our ongoing romance. You might even call it the secret to our success!
I love my husband because of his ability to dodge and swerve for the curve-balls life continually throws at us. I saw that quality in him on that first Valentine’s Day together so many years ago when he was desperate to take me to dinner no matter the obstacle. Instead of feeling he’d forgotten to shower me with hearts and roses and a reservation for somewhere fancy, he showed me that he was the kind of guy who can rise above any situation with creative thinking. He wasn’t trying to impress me, he just wanted to be with me. He still does.
Hooray for non-traditional traditions! Do you have any traditions that veer off from what other people normally do? I need to hear about them! Please drop a comment on this post. And Happy Fish & Chips Day to you!
